r - kangmi
summary: being frazzled, being dazzed, being shaken out of your skin by something you can't understand but is at the same time the most familiar thing in the world.
Kangin is used to all kinds of things. In the years that he's spent with the other members, he thinks that he's seen just about everything, from crossdressing to acting like gay lovers to wearing full body animal costumes to raising children, and all the other daily things that fill in the middlegrounds.
But Kangin, Kangin who prides himself on being steady as a rock, a force of strength in a group where chaos is the rule,\ and not the exception, this Kangin finds himself utterly confused and just a little scared because he's just met Zhoumi and Zhoumi is... Well, Kangin think he just might be an alien. Or a demon? Some kind of squid-shapeshifter? There's absolutely no reason for Zhoumi's legs to be that long, and no reason for his arms to be that long, and his hands... Kangin watches Zhoumi twist his fingers through the rice he's washing and he ignores the feeling in his stomach (like butterflies).
How is it that the one thing he's not ready for is the one that's now a part of them, but not really, but enough that he's staying with Kangin and Shindong and Yesung for a while, instead of the people who talk real Chinese (he's given up telling Shindong that advertising for beer is not conversation).
"Hyung~ I made rice and meat and set the table and come eat now?" Zhoumi's smile threatens to take over the room and Kangin doesn't want to admit to himself that the way Zhoumi misses and rearranges words (like Hankyung, but then again not) is oddly endearing.
Kangin shakes his head to himself and when he enters the kitchen area, he wishes that Zhoumi knew more Korean, because what he does know seems to be limited to calling the feast on the table "rice and meat". The entire table is covered with food that Kangin recognizes, doesn't recognize, and one or two side dishes he doesn't think he wants to recognize, but he doesn't say a word as Zhoumi sits him down and passes him plate after plate, not because he doesn't want to say anything, but because he can't. In a way, he's more afraid to hurt Zhoumi's feelings then Ryeowook’s or even Henry's because Zhoumi's trying just so hard to fit in and stand out and Kangin knows all too well how that feels.
"Do you cook like this all the time? Even if it's just me?" Kangin avoids looking at some of the things he puts in his mouth, and is just glad that they don't taste at all the way they look.
Zhoumi purses his lips and Kangin almost chokes on a piece of something that's meat and chewy and he gulps down a glass of water to hide it. "I like cooking. Fun to watch hyung eating." And there's his room-threatening smile again and Kangin wonders if Zhoumi always sounds like he's singing.
Kangin only nods, his head is swirling with thoughts and questions and images and he wonders why nothing he's ever learned with living with thirteen of the most complicated and routinely insane men in Korea seems to be able to tell him how to deal with the thing that is Zhoumi.
"Hyung~ do you like me?"
This time Kangin really does choke and Zhoumi pounds him helpfully on the back but the problem is that Zhoumi can't even raise his voice with any force, let alone hit. Kangin thumps himself on the chest and kills another glass of water. "What?" He's slightly teary-eyed and Zhoumi kind of blurs around the edges.
"Do you like me? Am I- Do I do good?" Zhoumi leans in close to him (was he always sitting beside him?) and the expression goes back and forth from worried to slightly amused to something darker that Kangin can't catch.
Kangin isn't one to give praise, even to someone as desperately seeking praise as Zhoumi, so he shrugs awkwardly and drinks more water. "Yeah uhh, you're going really good, don't worry about-"
In all his time trying to figure out what exactly Zhoumi was, Kangin never considered that Zhoumi's mouth would taste like lemon candies.
Zhoumi's teeth catch Kangin's bottom lip (how did he know that that was something that drives Kangin crazy?) and he leans his weight onto Kangin’s lap and Kangin can't stop thinking about how awkward Zhoumi is in his angles and lines, balancing his weight on Kangin's shoulders.
When he pulls away he looks proud; he licks his lips and Kangin is just a little slack-jawed as he follows the trail of Zhoumi's tongue.
"Hyung~" Zhoumi waits until Kangin meets his eyes.”I can do better."
Kangin doesn't see the chair he's sitting on falling to the side. The kitchen tiles are cold on his palms and Zhoumi looms over him (but he's still not intimidating) and Kangin watches how quick Zhoumi's scary hands are as they pull off clothing left and right and now the kitchen tile isn't just cold on his palms but on the back of his thighs and the soles of his feet.
Zhoumi's fingers curve into Kangin's shoulders and they don't hurt, but he hurts, his body burns as he pulls Kangin closer and Kangin's head hurts as it hits the cabinet behind him.
Zhoumi's knees make soft sounds as they hit the floor again and again and Kangin tries to hold onto Zhoumi's hips but he's too thin and too pale and he can see the veins along his skin and he's too scared that Zhoumi will break in half and instead he holds Zhoumi's thighs, sinks fingernails into muscle. Zhoumi hisses very quietly and Kangin looks up and Zhoumi's head is dropped just slightly back and he's biting his bottom lip and everything just seems to click in his head.
"I do good, right, hyung~?" Zhoumi's whispering into Kangin's ear when Kangin's still gasping for air and his shoulders are still shuddering. "I do good, I did good, right, hyung?" Kangin listens to Zhoumi's own panted breaths and he thinks about the food Zhoumi carefully placed on the dinner table.
"Really really really good."
And Zhoumi pulls back slightly in Kangin's arms and he smiles and Kangin feels kind of like he's just had sex with a smiley face balloon.
note: i know the pairing came from out of nowhere, but i really like it~